Elder Matadzakuguta 1

Takamirira kuti mutsvage vamwe vanhu vachaverenga  part one ne two ye How I Lost The Perfect Woman. Pane kamwe kanyaya. This one is set end of 2020. Lockdown restrictions eased. October - February. Let's title this the hypocrite in cloth. Haa maya handiro zita racho. Tongoti "Elder Matadzakuguta" 

Churches had been opened and mukomana was going to church every Sunday and staying behind for youth service semu ghetto yut munhu bho so. Church yandinopinda rents out this building in town. Padhuze neground rebhuza rimwe so. (Vamwe description iyo yatokwana vakupaziva). Ndaipota ndichimbodongorera hangu kubhuza kana muparidzi atanga iye obva ati hake "ndine kanyaya kapfupi pfupi"  but munhu waiita kunge uchaorera pachair. 

Mweya Mutsvene would descend go back and come back munhu asati apedza kuparidza. The day i met elder was one of these services. He was an elder from a church that congregates 30mins isu tapedza yedu service ivo vachitanga na13:30. Sezvineio, i had begun noticing for a couple of weeks kuti elder was always the first from his church to get to church. Vaida kubata Holy ghost asati amborova break in-between services i thought. 

So this one Sunday, "ndine nyaya diki diki" was preaching. I'm not hyperactive but zuva iroro preacher had managed to knock out half of the church nehope, the other quarter was fighting to stay awake. Imwe quarter was already preparing to sing the preacher to sit because anga anyanya. In an attempt to stay awake mugaya akasimuka achida kumborohwa nemhepo zve 2mins panze. I coded kune my partner in crime muchurch (007) kuti I'm going out. And in perfect sync takasimuka tikabuda. We then chilled panze padoor rechurch. Not too close to be seen. And not too far to be late to witness drama yevanhu vemuchurch medu who were about to sing the preacher to sit. 

Manyengavana approached us. Eish, Matadzakuguta. Sevarume we don't need to know each others names to have a conversation so we started talking tiri 3, the usual. Kunetsa kurikuita kurarama, fuel kukwira nekunetsa kukuita kukwira mazupco. Tataura. Gare gare munhu was comfortable around us. 

Cde Matadzakuguta laid bare his thoughts. "Munoziva vakomana, kukasika kuuya kuno haizi nyaya yekuda Mwari stereki. Pane 3 vari mupraise team menyu vanenge vanodyika, ndikungotsvaga opportunity ne opening ndipindire madam vasati vasvika kuchurch". He pointed at the 3 casually,  "vapfana mukandipa through ball ndokuitirai kasomething". So he proposed a plan one through ball a week kuchurch during youth, tofambisa shoko kuti wadiwa tomupa number musikana ozvi decidira. 007 and i were presented with a dilemma from moral standpoint. Elder had a wife, and we'd be encouraging adultary, but on the flip side. Two of the three sisters vedu veku youth were having a hard time finding munhu. Well that, and the proposed kasomething that wasn't specified yet that would come with the through ball. 

Elder vakati ndokupai nguva yekufunga and we were to come back to him before youth yedu with an answer. We went back into church but kuti titeerere zvangazvakuramba. We were fast talking on whatsapp na007 on a way forward. Isusu we were cool nazvo hedu since sisi had the option of not apping elder, but sezvineio shoko rangarafambwa naro muchurch was to be like Job and be strong against temptation. 

Haaa takanamata, mweya mutsvene probably had taken a break from "ndine nyaya diki diki" saka response wasn't as fast as we'd have wanted. We looked at each other and then resolved totamba rock paper scissors. One wedu was to be for, the other against. I had never been beaten at rock, paper, scissors na007 but zuva iroro akandirova 2 rounds dzacho ne a bonus round, he was for. 

Takangorova kafather forgive me prayer during the benediction. Church ended, we packed chairs and then went kuna Elder neDecision. He gave us 3 business cards each. Vanga vatone a high standing position kune a top company muHarare. We had made the assumption kudhara because hapana anofamba ne6L engine MuZimbabwe asina mari yeFuel. He gave us statement rekuudza bhebhi rekutanga, and we assured we'd carry out his mission. Hatina kubvunza kuti what are we getting in return hedu. Mostly because i think we were more invested in the future drama that was a strong possibility. We then went to youth hedu. Tiri two we were the ajigijas of our youth group. So takatoenda kunofambisa basa redu rekukeepa vanhu happy. 

After youth we approached sisi number one, tomuti Bev. Takaita copy and paste message yatanga tapihwa and gave her the card. Takatoseka naye and we made our swift exit. Elder was watching from the comfort of his church chair havo. And when we left Bev, he rushed out and told us to app him tomorrow morning. 
(I still talk to elder and he gave me consent to write about this, vachatoverenga futi futi vakanakidzwa) 

End of part one